Being a woman in misogynist society by Wini from Sudan

12122691_735409139898109_8998293862315490886_nYour roles in this life have limited your abilities and justify that your capabilities will not be greater than men’s. This is a system that has become naturalized, therefore everything is previously prepared and drawn out. You  just have to say yes and fall in line, that’s what is available for you  to perceive and believe in.

In order to be the woman they want, they are pleased with, and they agree with is to have the behaviors and attitudes that follow the instructions that have been regulated by society, follow it step by step point after point, systematically.They will keep on telling you that you are the great mother, the loving wife, the kind sister, but it is only according to those guidelines. They are expecting you to follow the rules, the rules that have been made to imprison you in an inferior position, expecting you to sacrifice and delay your dreams until theirs come true. They are expecting you to dress as they want, simply because they own your body. Itrepresents their honor and value. Your virginity embodies their greatest pride and self-importance, because shame and infamy can pursue them forever if you lose it. Sexual freedom is a man’s prize, your body is his trophy. Of course you don’t have ownership over these concepts.

Yes, logically it is your body but socially it is a public property, so ignore its beckons, cover it and keep it fresh and desirable for the promising husband. They are expecting you to think within their own boundaries, believe in their standards for good and evil, and most importantly do not dare to cross the frame of right and wrong. Instead you must move within limitations so that your opinions and viewpoints arepredictable.

In your own country, you are a second-class citizen. To represent yourself and your agenda you must struggle and shout loudly to be heard because your priorities come at the end of the list. In your workplace, they will pay you less,  sexist comments will be made at your expense, and harassment and sexual requests will annoy you all the time. They are expecting you to depend on your male partners when you face any challenges, because you are too weak to do it by yourself.  Moreover, whether you are from Arab world, European or Asian, the societal expectations will chase you everywhere. Whether  you are Muslim, Christian, or Jewish, the main role of your religion is to oppress you, to threaten you if you dare to disobey or liberate yourself, to keep you under control in brief.

The ghost of traditions will chase you, observe your manners, and raise the red lights when you try to escape away from this ghost. If you try to tweet out of the flock, that probably will cost you an arm and a leg.

And guess what sweet lady! If you want to win the biggest prize, heaven, you must follow all the above instructions, be a well-behaved women, decent and conservative. Otherwise, you will be rejected, hated, and loathed.  We need to liberate ourselves from this terrible sense of guilt when we want to express ourselves outside of the norms, to pick ourselves up from the lake of stereotyping. And as a woman once said to me, “as long as we treat ourselves as an underestimated human, we will remain like this”. This was the moment I decided to revolt against the entirety of classic and ready-made roles for me as a woman, to destroy all these expectations and build my own expectations for myself, to move forward with my thoughts for change.

Moreover, it is most important for me to put all my efforts in this issue, to empower women and to achieve equality. My efforts are to achieve justice for them, not just myself. This misogynist society should understand that the masculine-dominated, patriarchal mentality will not help anymore. We have opened the doors and are heading towards future, and nothing will stop us.

Supporting women’s rights means that you are supporting human rights, feminism and social justice. All of  these concepts cannot be divided. Women should stand up for their rights everywhere and men as well. Men who believe in a brighter future must recognize that this is a collective effort that includes everyone, not just men at the expense of others.

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